Nathan had his first day of preschool today and it went wonderfully. There were two things I was worried about. Would he be okay with having shoes on instead of crocs? And was he going to be anxious about being left alone? He did protest about his shoes but eventually accepted them on his feet and left them on in the car and wore them all day without a problem. And he had no problem with being left alone. He just walked into the classroom and sat down and started playing. Even when I said goodbye, there was hardly a blink on his part.
I've heard from the teachers that he had a fantastic time. He sat on his own for snack and poured his own juice and enjoyed his crackers and grapes. He sat for the entire circle and listened to the songs and stories. He took turns on his own initiative with another child when playing with a toy. There was a brief temper tantrum when Nathan wanted to leave the class and wasn't allowed to. Another little boy noticed and asked the teacher "Is Nathan sad?" to which the teacher replied "No, he's mad that he can't leave." The little boy then went over to Nathan and began building a block tower nearby. Nathan got interested and joined in the play, tantrum forgotten. The little boy then told the teacher: "See, he's happy now that he can play."
I forsee great things for that little boy. Such compassion is rare enough in adults and I hope that he stays as sweet and insightful as he is now.
Nathan also had a great time outside at the park and didn't want to come home. But when he saw me, he was all smiles and happiness. I got a big hug and he said "Bye-bye" to all the other waiting parents. We're even recognizing some familiar faces from other playgroups and from when Alex was at the preschool. It's like a little mini-reunion.
I am so proud of Nathan and how he's done. And I am very happy with the preschool. They've been accepting and wonderful and you can tell that they're genuinely pleased to have him in the class. He's going to do great there.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
First Day of School - the Results
The results are in and, as anyone could have expected, they are mixed.
Alex did very well. Having a visual schedule helped him a lot in moving between activities. The main issue was in some last minute changes to his schedule. We'd spent a lot of time preparing him for what was going to happen but they changed some key points, like which door he was supposed to go in. He did very well on the tour of the school, not participating too much but not complaining and sticking with the group, which is a big deal for him.
I think there may be some challenges with integrating him into the classroom. Some of the other kids are distracted by the fact that he gets to hold a toy and can move around. However, personally, I think that's something that just needs to be handled honestly and frankly with them. Kids can accept a lot if it's presented in a matter of fact kind of way. With a little understanding and flexibility, I think he'll end up doing very well.
He's not that difficult a kid to deal with (although I'll admit that I'm biased). He has certain needs for how information should be presented to him, but once those needs are met, he's very flexible in dealing with his surroundings.
We'll see how things progress over the year. I'm still not entirely over my anxiety but it's good to have that first day over with.
Alex did very well. Having a visual schedule helped him a lot in moving between activities. The main issue was in some last minute changes to his schedule. We'd spent a lot of time preparing him for what was going to happen but they changed some key points, like which door he was supposed to go in. He did very well on the tour of the school, not participating too much but not complaining and sticking with the group, which is a big deal for him.
I think there may be some challenges with integrating him into the classroom. Some of the other kids are distracted by the fact that he gets to hold a toy and can move around. However, personally, I think that's something that just needs to be handled honestly and frankly with them. Kids can accept a lot if it's presented in a matter of fact kind of way. With a little understanding and flexibility, I think he'll end up doing very well.
He's not that difficult a kid to deal with (although I'll admit that I'm biased). He has certain needs for how information should be presented to him, but once those needs are met, he's very flexible in dealing with his surroundings.
We'll see how things progress over the year. I'm still not entirely over my anxiety but it's good to have that first day over with.
First Day of School
Today is Alex's first day in an integrated school program. He's starting senior kindergarten today. If all goes according to plan, he'll be in SK one morning a week and then in his behaviour therapy program four days a week.
When I first had children, I expected that the first day of school would be emotional. A sense of loss that my little boy was growing up. A sense of pride that he was doing well. And perhaps a little guilty sense of relief at having some time to myself.
I didn't expect to have to feel anxiety. To be wondering if he's going to be able to make it in kindergarten. I find myself wondering if his teacher and peers will like him or if he'll be so disruptive that he'll be politely asked to leave. There are dozens of horror stories about children with autism having trouble in an integrated program. The mildest versions are the ones where they're ignored and left to do their own thing. The worst are the ones of children who are locked up in "autism rooms" all day and kept isolated.
However, I should be clear. The school so far has been very eager on the subject of integration and his teacher has a great deal of experience. But in our experience, that hasn't always translated into a positive experience for Alex.
I think that's the hardest part. Knowing that I have done everything I can at this point and it is now out of my hands. He's got to succeed or fail on his own and it would be counterproductive for me to try and stand between him and any obstacles. The point of this whole exercise is to see if he can integrate into a regular classroom. If I'm right there, that's not going to help us find that out.
But I still think that this is going to be a very long three hours until he's home and I know how it went.
When I first had children, I expected that the first day of school would be emotional. A sense of loss that my little boy was growing up. A sense of pride that he was doing well. And perhaps a little guilty sense of relief at having some time to myself.
I didn't expect to have to feel anxiety. To be wondering if he's going to be able to make it in kindergarten. I find myself wondering if his teacher and peers will like him or if he'll be so disruptive that he'll be politely asked to leave. There are dozens of horror stories about children with autism having trouble in an integrated program. The mildest versions are the ones where they're ignored and left to do their own thing. The worst are the ones of children who are locked up in "autism rooms" all day and kept isolated.
However, I should be clear. The school so far has been very eager on the subject of integration and his teacher has a great deal of experience. But in our experience, that hasn't always translated into a positive experience for Alex.
I think that's the hardest part. Knowing that I have done everything I can at this point and it is now out of my hands. He's got to succeed or fail on his own and it would be counterproductive for me to try and stand between him and any obstacles. The point of this whole exercise is to see if he can integrate into a regular classroom. If I'm right there, that's not going to help us find that out.
But I still think that this is going to be a very long three hours until he's home and I know how it went.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Lots of updates
It's been awhile since I posted anything so forgive me if I leave anything out.
The boys had an amazing time at the cottage with my parents. Alex swam two or three times every day and would have lived in the pool if a) we let him and b) it was warmer. He also got to go on lots of long walks with his grandfather, who is delighted to finally have someone in the family who is interested in nature walks too. We were told he crashed out just about every night and woke up ready to go the next day. Nathan enjoyed himself, too, discovering a whole new bunch of foods that he enjoys (such as bananas, more on that later) and a new bunch of people to appreciate his charm. Nathan is much more cautious in the pool than Alex, but greatly enjoyed wading in the lake. Now for the banana story. We have tried for a long time to get him to eat bananas but he always refused. But apparently he's more than happy to eat them if you leave it in the peel. He makes happy monkey sounds and eats away. It's quite cute to see.
The boys have found a new passion in their lives. The television show The Wiggles. It's the only one they both enjoy watching. (Alex has been wanting to watch Mythbusters and nature shows on Discovery, Nathan still likes Elmo and Sesame and neither likes the others' programs.) But they are both loving the Wiggles, dancing and singing along with the music. We've even invested in a few DVDs and they are getting well used. We're actually going to try and take the boys to see them in person when they come to Ottawa in the fall. It just seems like too much of an opportunity to pass up. It's so rare that we get opportunities at the same time that they're actually interested in something. So cross your fingers for us. I'll let you all know what happens at the show.
Alex's therapy team is changing. We're losing his lead therapist to another position. We wish her well but we're going to miss her. She's been a favourite of Alex's to work with and he often asks for her by name. She is that rare combination of balanced enthusiasm and professionalism and she is probably responsible for a lot of the progress Alex has made since beginning his program, coaxing him to try new things. He'll be beginning kindergarten in a few weeks and I'm a little nervous to see how things are going to go.
Nathan's therapy team is also changing. Since he'll be starting preschool two mornings a week, we had to shift some of his sessions to the afternoon which means we get someone new. Again, we'll miss the previous therapist. She's been very pleasant to work with. But I'm excited about him starting preschool. I think he's really going to love it and it's going to be great for him to interact with other children his own age.
I think that just about covers everything for now.
The boys had an amazing time at the cottage with my parents. Alex swam two or three times every day and would have lived in the pool if a) we let him and b) it was warmer. He also got to go on lots of long walks with his grandfather, who is delighted to finally have someone in the family who is interested in nature walks too. We were told he crashed out just about every night and woke up ready to go the next day. Nathan enjoyed himself, too, discovering a whole new bunch of foods that he enjoys (such as bananas, more on that later) and a new bunch of people to appreciate his charm. Nathan is much more cautious in the pool than Alex, but greatly enjoyed wading in the lake. Now for the banana story. We have tried for a long time to get him to eat bananas but he always refused. But apparently he's more than happy to eat them if you leave it in the peel. He makes happy monkey sounds and eats away. It's quite cute to see.
The boys have found a new passion in their lives. The television show The Wiggles. It's the only one they both enjoy watching. (Alex has been wanting to watch Mythbusters and nature shows on Discovery, Nathan still likes Elmo and Sesame and neither likes the others' programs.) But they are both loving the Wiggles, dancing and singing along with the music. We've even invested in a few DVDs and they are getting well used. We're actually going to try and take the boys to see them in person when they come to Ottawa in the fall. It just seems like too much of an opportunity to pass up. It's so rare that we get opportunities at the same time that they're actually interested in something. So cross your fingers for us. I'll let you all know what happens at the show.
Alex's therapy team is changing. We're losing his lead therapist to another position. We wish her well but we're going to miss her. She's been a favourite of Alex's to work with and he often asks for her by name. She is that rare combination of balanced enthusiasm and professionalism and she is probably responsible for a lot of the progress Alex has made since beginning his program, coaxing him to try new things. He'll be beginning kindergarten in a few weeks and I'm a little nervous to see how things are going to go.
Nathan's therapy team is also changing. Since he'll be starting preschool two mornings a week, we had to shift some of his sessions to the afternoon which means we get someone new. Again, we'll miss the previous therapist. She's been very pleasant to work with. But I'm excited about him starting preschool. I think he's really going to love it and it's going to be great for him to interact with other children his own age.
I think that just about covers everything for now.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Vacation Days
Alex is officially off to the cottage with his grandparents for a week. This is the third year he's gone and he always has a great time. It looks like he'll get some good weather, too. My guess is that he'll spend most of his time in the pool and on the playground.
This means that Nathan gets some quality two-on-one time with his parents. This morning, we were able to go out to the park. It was nice and almost relaxing. The slides were all very wet from last night's rain but that didn't stop Nathan from enjoying himself. At first, I tried to stop him from going through the puddle but then I realized I was spoiling his fun. A little water and dirt wasn't going to hurt him. So I relaxed and he had a fantastic time, even though water was occasionally dripping from his shorts.
He's definitely more adventurous than the other kids his age. We must have hit the right time for two-year olds at the park. Usually it's mostly older kids but this time we had about five different children, all around two years old. Nathan was very social, saying hi to the other children when I prompted him and even being surprisingly patient about waiting in line. But he was the only child to climb the big ladder by himself and certainly the most fearless when it came to going down the big slides.
I have to say that I'm really encouraged by how well he was interacting with the other children. One of the things I love about our neighbourhood is how multi-cultural it is and this morning was definitely a multicultural experience. We heard Arabic, Chinese and Russian (I'm guessing a little, so apologies if I've gotten it wrong). Nathan seemed quite intrigued by all the different languages.
He decided when he'd had enough and told me "All done." I asked him if he wanted to go home and he repeated "Go home. All done." Then he took off down the path to go home. But he did stop and wave good-bye to everyone when I prompted him.
All in all, a good first day of vacation.
This means that Nathan gets some quality two-on-one time with his parents. This morning, we were able to go out to the park. It was nice and almost relaxing. The slides were all very wet from last night's rain but that didn't stop Nathan from enjoying himself. At first, I tried to stop him from going through the puddle but then I realized I was spoiling his fun. A little water and dirt wasn't going to hurt him. So I relaxed and he had a fantastic time, even though water was occasionally dripping from his shorts.
He's definitely more adventurous than the other kids his age. We must have hit the right time for two-year olds at the park. Usually it's mostly older kids but this time we had about five different children, all around two years old. Nathan was very social, saying hi to the other children when I prompted him and even being surprisingly patient about waiting in line. But he was the only child to climb the big ladder by himself and certainly the most fearless when it came to going down the big slides.
I have to say that I'm really encouraged by how well he was interacting with the other children. One of the things I love about our neighbourhood is how multi-cultural it is and this morning was definitely a multicultural experience. We heard Arabic, Chinese and Russian (I'm guessing a little, so apologies if I've gotten it wrong). Nathan seemed quite intrigued by all the different languages.
He decided when he'd had enough and told me "All done." I asked him if he wanted to go home and he repeated "Go home. All done." Then he took off down the path to go home. But he did stop and wave good-bye to everyone when I prompted him.
All in all, a good first day of vacation.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Nathan Summer Camp and Alex's Evaluation
Today was Nathan's first day at summer camp. It's only a week and run by his therapists for the children who are most advanced socially. They use it to practice social skills between the children.
I admit I was worried. He's been so attached to me lately that I wasn't sure he was going to be able to relax and have fun. But he handled it beautifully. Dave dropped him off in the morning and tells me that once Nathan saw the toys, there was no more fuss. I picked him up and while he was happy to see me, he wasn't desperate. And I saw him playing on the slide, so I know he wasn't sitting and waiting for me. The staff tell me that he had a great time, with only a little fussiness before snack.
When I picked him up, he waved goodbye to all the staff and gave them all kisses. That's my little charming flirt at work. I'll bet that it won't be long before he's the favourite, if he's not already.
Last week, Alex had his annual psychological review for his ABA program. This is to evaluate his progress and see how he's learning to generalize the skills they're teaching him. They got a very productive forty-five minutes out of him but unfortunately it was an hour and a half test. I personally think he did very well since last year he was barely able to follow any of the instructions. It isn't that he doesn't know how to do what's being asked, it's that he still has trouble with the concept of doing things when he isn't particularly interested.
We'll get the report in another couple of weeks. I'm not terribly worried about them but it will be interesting to see how it compares with last year.
I admit I was worried. He's been so attached to me lately that I wasn't sure he was going to be able to relax and have fun. But he handled it beautifully. Dave dropped him off in the morning and tells me that once Nathan saw the toys, there was no more fuss. I picked him up and while he was happy to see me, he wasn't desperate. And I saw him playing on the slide, so I know he wasn't sitting and waiting for me. The staff tell me that he had a great time, with only a little fussiness before snack.
When I picked him up, he waved goodbye to all the staff and gave them all kisses. That's my little charming flirt at work. I'll bet that it won't be long before he's the favourite, if he's not already.
Last week, Alex had his annual psychological review for his ABA program. This is to evaluate his progress and see how he's learning to generalize the skills they're teaching him. They got a very productive forty-five minutes out of him but unfortunately it was an hour and a half test. I personally think he did very well since last year he was barely able to follow any of the instructions. It isn't that he doesn't know how to do what's being asked, it's that he still has trouble with the concept of doing things when he isn't particularly interested.
We'll get the report in another couple of weeks. I'm not terribly worried about them but it will be interesting to see how it compares with last year.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Happy Canada Day
Okay, now we have something to write about!
Our family had an excellent Canada Day, very low key for the most part. We went for a drive in the morning, which the boys always seem to enjoy. We drove out into cottage country and got to see some of the lovely picturesque little towns outside of Ottawa. Nathan drifted off for the last little bit, but Alex seemed quite alert and interested throughout. Then we had a nice lunch and took the boys out for a walk to the park. They were enjoying themselves quite a bit, although I had the thought that we looked like a divorced family, one parent and one kid each, well separated at all times. :) Nathan started to fade after a bit so I brought him back home to nap but Dave and Alex stayed out for well over an hour.
The boys got their supper at their usual time, but neither of them were inclined to settle down so Dave and I decided that we would let them stay up until the fireworks. We'd planned to wake them up to go, but if they weren't sleepy, there didn't seem to be much point in putting them in their rooms. Dave actually did most of the labour on our supper, a very traditional Canadian dish: Old El Paso tacos. :) Nathan surprised us by sitting down at table with us and helping himself to meat, cheese and tortilla chips. He ate a fairly decent second supper and was chatting away with us the whole time. Alex is still quite disgusted at the sight of us eating and spent the time watching his favourite shows without his brother to annoy him.
The fireworks were lots of fun. We're lucky enough to have found a good spot to watch the Kanata display that isn't too crowded (mainly because it seems to be a major mosquito breeding ground). We arrived ten minutes before the show and were home twenty minutes after it finished. And there was plenty of room for the boys to run around and still have a good view. We brought some glowsticks, which Alex loved. He collected them from all of us, although we stopped him from taking all of Nathan's. When the fireworks started, Alex was jumping up and down and shrieking with laughter and excitment; Nathan was so startled that he sat down on the ground with his mouth open, staring at the sky. But pretty soon Nathan was dancing in place and giggling just like his brother. Alex lost interest halfway through but was very interested in the reflection of his glowsticks in a nearby car window.
Both boys are cranky today from lack of sleep, but I still count it as a good experience. They had a lot of fun, got to spend time with both parents and most importantly, we kept expectations light. It doesn't matter to me if they ran around and weren't looking at the fireworks the whole time. There was a family next to us where Mom was obviously at the end of her rope and threatened to take the whole family home if anyone else complained about the wait. I can't judge, but my thought is that kids aren't perfect and yelling at them only taints the positive aspects of the day. At the end of the day, they had fun. That's the important part.
Oh and one more completely unrelated note. Dave got Seasons 1 and 2 of Titus, an old Fox TV sitcom. Often you watch these things and they aren't as good as you remember. Well, this one isn't as good as I remember, it's better. Kudos to you, Christopher Titus (writer and star). Well done.
Our family had an excellent Canada Day, very low key for the most part. We went for a drive in the morning, which the boys always seem to enjoy. We drove out into cottage country and got to see some of the lovely picturesque little towns outside of Ottawa. Nathan drifted off for the last little bit, but Alex seemed quite alert and interested throughout. Then we had a nice lunch and took the boys out for a walk to the park. They were enjoying themselves quite a bit, although I had the thought that we looked like a divorced family, one parent and one kid each, well separated at all times. :) Nathan started to fade after a bit so I brought him back home to nap but Dave and Alex stayed out for well over an hour.
The boys got their supper at their usual time, but neither of them were inclined to settle down so Dave and I decided that we would let them stay up until the fireworks. We'd planned to wake them up to go, but if they weren't sleepy, there didn't seem to be much point in putting them in their rooms. Dave actually did most of the labour on our supper, a very traditional Canadian dish: Old El Paso tacos. :) Nathan surprised us by sitting down at table with us and helping himself to meat, cheese and tortilla chips. He ate a fairly decent second supper and was chatting away with us the whole time. Alex is still quite disgusted at the sight of us eating and spent the time watching his favourite shows without his brother to annoy him.
The fireworks were lots of fun. We're lucky enough to have found a good spot to watch the Kanata display that isn't too crowded (mainly because it seems to be a major mosquito breeding ground). We arrived ten minutes before the show and were home twenty minutes after it finished. And there was plenty of room for the boys to run around and still have a good view. We brought some glowsticks, which Alex loved. He collected them from all of us, although we stopped him from taking all of Nathan's. When the fireworks started, Alex was jumping up and down and shrieking with laughter and excitment; Nathan was so startled that he sat down on the ground with his mouth open, staring at the sky. But pretty soon Nathan was dancing in place and giggling just like his brother. Alex lost interest halfway through but was very interested in the reflection of his glowsticks in a nearby car window.
Both boys are cranky today from lack of sleep, but I still count it as a good experience. They had a lot of fun, got to spend time with both parents and most importantly, we kept expectations light. It doesn't matter to me if they ran around and weren't looking at the fireworks the whole time. There was a family next to us where Mom was obviously at the end of her rope and threatened to take the whole family home if anyone else complained about the wait. I can't judge, but my thought is that kids aren't perfect and yelling at them only taints the positive aspects of the day. At the end of the day, they had fun. That's the important part.
Oh and one more completely unrelated note. Dave got Seasons 1 and 2 of Titus, an old Fox TV sitcom. Often you watch these things and they aren't as good as you remember. Well, this one isn't as good as I remember, it's better. Kudos to you, Christopher Titus (writer and star). Well done.
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